July 07, 2010

the squeeky whale..gets the update..

 I’ve frequently been asked how I’m doing lately. Well I guess this could be considered a broad stroked answer. Or at the very least, how I feel after 5 months. I have successfully spent more time in Korea than I have any other place outside of Canada. I think that’s a pretty large achievement. Well perhaps not an achievement as I’m under contract and I have to be here. BUT it’s something, rather than nothing, and I’m proud of it.

My previous treks away from Canada never breached the two month mark. My first two months in Korea breezed by, I don’t actually remember them to be honest. They have almost entirely faded away through the alcoholic fog I found myself entwined in. I had several friends comment about my excess, I had several worried. I lived unaccustomed to myself; I lived well beyond my means. Even though this country is cheap, I’m hardly a millionaire; I couldn’t keep it up, financially or physically.

I find the shift in my views has created several other shifts in my Korean experience. The group dynamics in Korea are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. While they are not truly alien to me, I’ve dealt with them twice before and I’ve been able to learn from both situations and both entirely different outcomes. Despite that experience I can’t help but feel that I’ve become ostracized for decisions I’ve made. I don’t feel that I’ve done anything wrong, and would gladly repeat my actions. It still doesn’t feel right, because I’ve actually finally been able to level myself off, and remove the dynamic shifts I experienced during my first months. Yet there are three sides to every story, and people only know what you reveal about yourself. I find I’ve learned to appreciate why I was lucky to find friends for life in Malaysia, and in the same breath I’ve realized why it was best I traveled solo around Europe.

To answer the original question, I am fine, I am good, I am happy. This was the best decision I’ve ever made, and my third trip of a lifetime. I hope to make the best of my remaining time, and will try not worry to about the fragile individuals along the way. I will continue to find my place here and I will continue to write about it. I’ll be 25 all year, and I’ll spend it all here.

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